Thursday, August 12, 2010

If You Don't Know, Who Should I Ask?

All while I was growing up, if my mother asked me a question about what I wanted to do, or eat for dinner, or some other volition-based inquiry, and I responded with, "I don't know," she would say, "Well, if you don't know, who should I ask?"  (Then she would giggle like she always did when she was pleased with herself for stumping me.  Totally endearing.  I love my mom.)
Anyway, I only just realized today how deeply that phrase has embedded itself into my psyche.

When it comes to what you want, you should know.  AND say it, especially when asked.  There is no one else to ask.  You should know what you want to eat for dinner, or whether you want to stay inside and read or go to an amusement park, or why what that jackass on the subway said is upsetting you, or what you want to spend the rest of your life working on.  You should know this, because nobody else can.

Sometimes these questions are hard.  I know.  They suck.  I spent years figuring out the last one, and even now I'm still not sure all the time.  But nobody else knows the answer.  It takes time and effort to sort through your own reactions to find what your real preferences are.  But no one else can do it

So if sometimes I am blunt, and say things that other people don't say, it's only because it's one of those things that nobody else could say.  This is my job.  I am me, and I am the only one who knows what I want, and I am the only one who can communicate that.  This is what I am here for. 

And if you don't know these things about yourself, then who should I ask?

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