A step-by-step guide to winning my heart:
1. Be absolutely brilliant at something. I’m not totally picky about what that something is, but let’s just say x = WoW doesn’t qualify.
2. Dedicate your entire life to said pursuit.
3. Self-medicate as a remedy for the aloneness caused by your brilliance and the sad, incontrovertible knowledge that you will never fully perfect your art
4. Maintain a five o’clock shadow
5. Carry a cane with a flame decal
6. Drive a motorcycle
7. Somehow manage to offset telling horrible truths directly to people’s faces by being sidesplittingly funny
8. Be okay with the fact that I will only ever be capable of loving fictional characters